Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Uh Oh


When Sheila got home from the jail this afternoon (ah, but that’s another story) I buzzed over to the grocery store where we spend a good part of our lives and our money.  I had just a few things to pick up, mostly for the sweet onion pie I am making for dinner tonight, and the chicken piccata I am making for dinner tomorrow night.

I had scrawled a list of the few items I needed on a green post-it note.  As always, I started in the produce section on the right, and then moved farther and farther to the left around the store.  About halfway around, I consulted my list to see how I was doing.  I read:

Ritz crackers (check)

Ched cheese (last aisle)

Vidalia (sweet onions—check)

Bread crumbs (crossed out—do not need)

Lemon (check)

Walnut pieces (check)

Ice cream (last aisle)

Asp (?????)

Asp?  What the hell??  The image of a dying Cleopatra surfaced in my mind.  What?  What in the world had I meant by “Asp”?  I didn’t need aspirin.  Must be an old post-it note from when I did need aspirin, I thought.  I couldn’t imagine.

I breezed over to the self-service checkout.  Not everyone is smart or clever enough or brave enough to use it, but I am definitely above average, tech-wise.  I confidently scanned my items, bagging them quickly.  When you have produce, the screen asks you to type in the item, and then it shows you some pictures and you select the right item.  Usually it only needs the first two or three letters of the item.   I typed in oni and selected Vidalia sweet, lem and selected lemons, and asp and selected asparagus, which I had thought would go nicely with the chicken piccata.



  1. #1--you crack me the hell up. And when I looked at the note before reading, I thought, "ASP!?" and I was concerned.
    #2--clever or brave enough. How old were you when you started pumping your own gas?


  2. Tara:
    #1-Why thank you.
    @3-Who knows how old I'll be when I start pumping my own gas?
    #3-She was in jail for 2.5 hours yesterday and found it quite comfortable. She was there once before, too.

  3. Sorry about @3. Don't have my glasses on.

  4. Damn abbreviations.
    At least you remembered to take your list along and look at it! That's better than I do, half the time.

  5. So funny, Sharon! I was at the grocery yesterday scratching my head over an item on my list, but not because it was abbreviated. I simply could not read my own wretched writing.

    Now that you've piqued our curiosity, are you going to tell us the story of Sheila and the jail?

  6. Have you never tried asp and onion pie? You haven't lived!

  7. My first reaction was, "Asp? Surely not!" Then I KNEW it was asparagus. Oh, and chicken piccatta has to be just about my favorite food in the world. Big yum to you.

  8. I found your blog through Canadian Planet and I just wanted to say this post is hilarious...I don't know how many times something similar has happened to me with my lists for the grocery store!

    I couldn't come up with asparagus...the first thought I had was aspergum! Do they make that anymore?

    Thanks for the laugh this morning!

  9. Thanks for stopping by, Marion! Fran, send recipe for asp & onion pie. Beth, I will eventually write about the jail but other things have intervened so that I haven't been able to write at all. Hi, Ann! Kate, even tho I have a list, there are 5 things we run out of as soon as I get home.

  10. you made me laugh out loud. :)